Targeros
03-10-2008, 02:52
Rule 1: Any loot that you need will drop at a rate equivalent to how much you need it. Your biggest upgrade will never drop for you.
1b: Any raid you miss, the loot you need will be a 100% guaranteed drop.
Rule 2: When out questing by yourself, there is a large chance that some idiot will pull 30+ mobs and run right on top of you, then run away. The mobs will all aggro to you and you'll die because of it. It's perfectly acceptable to find this player, and drag 30 mobs onto him, but it's respectful to at least die with him.
Rule 3: No matter where you are, no matter what level you are, murlocs will always win. Also, even if your game sound is turned all the way off, you will always hear a faint "mgrgrgrglrglglglglrgl" as they walk away from your corpse.
Rule 4: The first time your alt enters westfall, a 70 horde will be there playing the "how many low levels can i take in a fight" game. All quest givers will be dead so don't even bother. Go kill goretusks until he leaves. This is a rite of passage for your alt.
Rule 5: When raiding, you will always have members that are attracted to fire. Not only will they not move out of fire, but when it's not on them, they will actually move into fire. You have to learn to deal with it, because no matter how many people you kick, there will always be at least 1.
Rule 6: If you do something good in this game, you will be flamed for it. If you do something bad, you will be flamed for it although not as harshly. If you cannot take criticism, it is better to be bad-mediocre then it is to be good at this game.
Rule 7: If you win a battleground, it is perfectly normal for you to go to the losing team's realm forum to brag about winning. Coindidentally, if you lose a battleground, it is perfectly normal for you to go to the winning team's realm forum and tell them how big of a loser they are, and how dependant on their amazing gear they are.
Rule 8: If someone is arguing with you and tells you that they have higher education degrees and an amazingly hard to get job, they work at either mc'donalds or burger king. If someone tells you they have a crappy job and not much education, they work at either mc'donalds or burger king. The people who claim that they have an average job with average education are the ones to watch out for.
Rule 9: All players of WoW are male, until proven otherwise.
9b: if you are a male, and you rolled a female character, you are guaranteed to get tells from other men asking for cyborz, no matter how clearly you tell them that you really are a guy.
9c: If you are female, you are assumed as a terrible player, but can be relied upon for your great cooking skills.
Rule 10: There is not, was not, and will never be a cow level.
Rule 11: If a boss is close to dying, but also close to enraging, your crit chance automatically goes to 0% and 5,000 mana is drained from you.
Rule 12: All players who post on alts, bashing people and making fun of them, are stupid. However, if you try to argue with them, they will successfully drag you down to their level of stupid, and then beat you with experience.
Rule 13: Trade channel will be filled with chuck norris jokes and kids linking legendary weapons over and over, only when you need to use it to sell something.
Rule 14: Every other pug run you do will consist of the worst players on your realm. You will be blamed for any and all wipes on that run, no matter what.
Rule 15: If you are desperately trying to recruit healers for your guild, none will apply. However 17 ret pallies, 13 elemental shammies, and 23 moonkins will apply within that week.
Rule 16: On any given raid, up to 50% of your raid is pvp specced in secret.
Rule 17: When pugging a heroic, you must find 6 people for your group. It's guaranteed that one of these 6 will not have the heroic key, nor the rep to actually buy it.
Rule 18: Any battleground you enter will have at least one person not fighting. He isn't afk, he is just too busy typing insults to the rest of the battleground and telling everyone else how to play, that he himself won't be playing.
Rule 19: All horde healers are immune from all attacks in any battleground. The only way to kill a horde healer is to kill every other player around him so there's nothing left to do.
Rule 20: If you are pvp flagged, it doesn't matter where you are or how obscure a location it is, you will run into at least 3 higher leveled players of the opposite faction.
Rule 21: The largest portion of your deaths throughout this entire game will be at the hands of the mighty elevator boss.
Rule 22: Any popular level 70 farming area will contain at least 1 hunter in full level 35 greens.
Rule 23: Any idea you have, whether it be about specs, talents, or gear, can be supported and at the same time denied by theorycrafting.
Rule 24: Any nerf blizzard gives that is designed around balancing pvp, will only nerf a pve aspect of the game without changing anything about pvp.
Rule 25: Yowler might have been nerfed, but hogger will always be the biggest badass of all azeroth. Blizzard tried to nerf hogger once but he headbutted them into submission.
Rule 26: Sheeps were meant to be broken. baaaaaa
Rule 27: Anyone who has progressed further and/or faster in the game then you have has absolutely no life, lives in their parents basement, and has never had a girlfriend. Anyone who has progressed less and/or slower then you is the worst player/guild in this game and should delete wow, never reproduce, and maybe even slit their wrists.
1b: Any raid you miss, the loot you need will be a 100% guaranteed drop.
Rule 2: When out questing by yourself, there is a large chance that some idiot will pull 30+ mobs and run right on top of you, then run away. The mobs will all aggro to you and you'll die because of it. It's perfectly acceptable to find this player, and drag 30 mobs onto him, but it's respectful to at least die with him.
Rule 3: No matter where you are, no matter what level you are, murlocs will always win. Also, even if your game sound is turned all the way off, you will always hear a faint "mgrgrgrglrglglglglrgl" as they walk away from your corpse.
Rule 4: The first time your alt enters westfall, a 70 horde will be there playing the "how many low levels can i take in a fight" game. All quest givers will be dead so don't even bother. Go kill goretusks until he leaves. This is a rite of passage for your alt.
Rule 5: When raiding, you will always have members that are attracted to fire. Not only will they not move out of fire, but when it's not on them, they will actually move into fire. You have to learn to deal with it, because no matter how many people you kick, there will always be at least 1.
Rule 6: If you do something good in this game, you will be flamed for it. If you do something bad, you will be flamed for it although not as harshly. If you cannot take criticism, it is better to be bad-mediocre then it is to be good at this game.
Rule 7: If you win a battleground, it is perfectly normal for you to go to the losing team's realm forum to brag about winning. Coindidentally, if you lose a battleground, it is perfectly normal for you to go to the winning team's realm forum and tell them how big of a loser they are, and how dependant on their amazing gear they are.
Rule 8: If someone is arguing with you and tells you that they have higher education degrees and an amazingly hard to get job, they work at either mc'donalds or burger king. If someone tells you they have a crappy job and not much education, they work at either mc'donalds or burger king. The people who claim that they have an average job with average education are the ones to watch out for.
Rule 9: All players of WoW are male, until proven otherwise.
9b: if you are a male, and you rolled a female character, you are guaranteed to get tells from other men asking for cyborz, no matter how clearly you tell them that you really are a guy.
9c: If you are female, you are assumed as a terrible player, but can be relied upon for your great cooking skills.
Rule 10: There is not, was not, and will never be a cow level.
Rule 11: If a boss is close to dying, but also close to enraging, your crit chance automatically goes to 0% and 5,000 mana is drained from you.
Rule 12: All players who post on alts, bashing people and making fun of them, are stupid. However, if you try to argue with them, they will successfully drag you down to their level of stupid, and then beat you with experience.
Rule 13: Trade channel will be filled with chuck norris jokes and kids linking legendary weapons over and over, only when you need to use it to sell something.
Rule 14: Every other pug run you do will consist of the worst players on your realm. You will be blamed for any and all wipes on that run, no matter what.
Rule 15: If you are desperately trying to recruit healers for your guild, none will apply. However 17 ret pallies, 13 elemental shammies, and 23 moonkins will apply within that week.
Rule 16: On any given raid, up to 50% of your raid is pvp specced in secret.
Rule 17: When pugging a heroic, you must find 6 people for your group. It's guaranteed that one of these 6 will not have the heroic key, nor the rep to actually buy it.
Rule 18: Any battleground you enter will have at least one person not fighting. He isn't afk, he is just too busy typing insults to the rest of the battleground and telling everyone else how to play, that he himself won't be playing.
Rule 19: All horde healers are immune from all attacks in any battleground. The only way to kill a horde healer is to kill every other player around him so there's nothing left to do.
Rule 20: If you are pvp flagged, it doesn't matter where you are or how obscure a location it is, you will run into at least 3 higher leveled players of the opposite faction.
Rule 21: The largest portion of your deaths throughout this entire game will be at the hands of the mighty elevator boss.
Rule 22: Any popular level 70 farming area will contain at least 1 hunter in full level 35 greens.
Rule 23: Any idea you have, whether it be about specs, talents, or gear, can be supported and at the same time denied by theorycrafting.
Rule 24: Any nerf blizzard gives that is designed around balancing pvp, will only nerf a pve aspect of the game without changing anything about pvp.
Rule 25: Yowler might have been nerfed, but hogger will always be the biggest badass of all azeroth. Blizzard tried to nerf hogger once but he headbutted them into submission.
Rule 26: Sheeps were meant to be broken. baaaaaa
Rule 27: Anyone who has progressed further and/or faster in the game then you have has absolutely no life, lives in their parents basement, and has never had a girlfriend. Anyone who has progressed less and/or slower then you is the worst player/guild in this game and should delete wow, never reproduce, and maybe even slit their wrists.